The Perfect Flatmate - Periods 

You’re female. You have periods. I understand. Just - please - don’t constantly leaves traces of it on the toilet.

How to be the Perfect Flatmate

Periods are perfectly normal.  Let’s get that out there.

Yes, as a man I can find them a bit grim, but that’s mainly me being a wuss.  I know it’s a natural bodily function but in my defence, so is pooing and I don’t like other peoples crap either.

I worked at a bank at the time of this story.  The work was not stressful at all.  In fact, it was easy.  The bank, however, was a horrible place to work for reasons that I’m not going in to right now.  Suffice to say that I enjoyed leaving work and getting home to relax.

I came home from work one day to find a present from the flatmate.  She’d lived with me for several weeks by this time and still hadn’t found a job.  This meant that she would spend all day, every day lazing around the flat.

I had assumed that she’d spend her days job hunting, as she claimed.  Or that she would do something other than sit around the flat.  I never found out her daily activities, but judging by the shower issue and the funky smell that would hang around the flat, she stayed in.  With the windows shut.  And the heating on.  No matter what the weather.

This particular day though, she’d used the loo, I could tell that much.  Nothing untoward there.

However, having been on her period she had left a big buttcrack-shaped blood smear on the loo seat.

It wasn’t subtle.  It wasn’t something that you could fail to see with even a cursory glance.  Yet somehow she had missed it when she’d finished using the loo.

I had a picture of it somewhere.  Luckily for anyone reading this, I can’t find it.

by DannyUK

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