The Perfect Flatmate - Toilet Paper
It is not normal to use that amount of toilet paper.
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I don’t care who you are, what you eat or how often you defecate. That was a 9-pack of toilet roll that was unopened at the start of the week and now it’s finished.
There’s two of us living in the flat. I know that I have used less than one roll. I may have (though I honestly can’t say for definite) taken a roll into my bedroom. For when I get a Summer cold, no other reason… But even that would leave seven rolls.
Are you seriously using more than a roll per day?
Is there some kind of black market for Aloe Vera toilet roll that I don’t know about? Are you secretly selling them on and making a profit? Is your overuse of toilet paper somehow making up for your refusal to wash?
You’ve been living here for weeks now and I really cannot be bothered to confront you about this. The truth is that whatever the reason you have, it will just serve to annoy me.
Instead, I will conform to the British stereotype of being non-confrontational. I will hide the toilet paper in my room and leave a single solitary roll in the bathroom.
Edit: Alas, dear reader, I acquiesced and confronted the flatmate. She had no answer as to why she was using so much loo roll which - as expected - annoyed me. It has enabled me to add a little footnote of advice:
Replacing decent toilet paper with crappy own-brand value toilet roll is bad form. If I try and take a positive from this whole experience, it’s that I will always buy toilet paper from now on that is half-decent.
Apparently, it wasn’t until the late 1930s that toilet paper could be advertised s being splinter-free. Whoever fact-checked that has obviously never used the cheapest loo roll available on the High Street these days.
by DannyUK
I think keeping the stash and putting one roll in the bathroom at a time is an ok solution. If other people want or need more then it’s fairly easily and cheaply bought.
Twitter: margare42282639
on July 25, 2018 at 11:54 pm
Can’t stop laughing – cheap isnt always the best solution with toilet paper – splinters ! No thanks
Twitter: antheajholloway
on July 27, 2018 at 3:10 pm
Carry your own toilet roll with you wherever you go and that way you can suit yourself!
Twitter: ems07957
on July 28, 2018 at 5:20 pm
Ha, ha! You’ve got to buy decent loo roll.
I would hide a stash of my own, i like a quality paper and thats not cheap
I like the idea of only having one roll in the other bathroom.