What to do with my life? (So much to know about life still)
As a teen, I never knew what to do with my life. I’m rapidly approaching 40 and I’m still finding that there is lots to know about life.
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My frustration as a kid was that nobody could help me decide what career to choose. Of course, we had career advisers, though their advice was little more than “decide what you want to do”.
All I knew was that I wanted to leave school, get a job and find something that would pay well. The problem I had is that for all of the advice given and the conversations had, I always struggled to find out what “well-paid” was, and what jobs would fall into that bracket.
In the 22 years that I have been working (and wow, that makes me feel old), I have set my sights on many career paths and followed many opportunities. They’ve resulted in various levels of success, from badly-paid menial jobs to well-paid management roles and everything in between.
There have been periods of redundancy and unemployment, flirtations with self-employment, side jobs, evening work and God knows what else.
Yet here I am, at an age when I figured I’d know about life and what career I should do (or rather be doing). Yet I don’t.
I took some exams at the end of last year as I saw my then-employers starting to struggle. Those exams have given me a proper qualification for a new role in the finance sector that I have worked in for 12 years now. A role dealing with mortgage advice.
It sounds stuffy and dull, and no doubt the sort of thing that my teenaged self would have sneered at as something boring old men called Nigel would do. But it feels right. I have an interest in property. I like talking to people and cross-selling. It’s commission-based work, so pays ok. But can I really say that this is what I should do with my life? That’s a hard one.
That’s not to say it isn’t what I want to do right now. It is. And I hope that I enjoy it enough, and am successful enough to do it for the rest of my life. But then I have felt that about jobs in the past.
My eldest daughter, Charisma, aged 11 months with me. Taken 15 years ago! Life has changed since then!
Of course, work is only one facet of life.
There are many different things that I can reflect on and judge about myself and what I’ve done.
I can look back and be proud of certain things. I can look back and feel sadness at other events.
The truth is, at this age I really expected to be more settled and have more going for me. Rather than that, the last 8 years or so have, in reality, been difficult.
A divorce at the age of 30 still has ripples on the pool of my life, and where I had once hoped I’d be entering a phase where the mortgage on a nicely-sized house would start to see an end in sight, I am instead renting a flat.
I thought that I would be able to start turning my focus towards providing driving lessons and university fees for my kids as they enter that phase of their lives, but that’s looking more and more unlikely too.
Not that I’m looking to apportion blame. Far from it. The road in life has so many twists and turns, just because you chose one path doesn’t mean you’d be better or worse than if you had chosen another. You can never tell.
But I look back back to my time at school and wonder. If I knew what I wanted to do in life. If I had an idea of what career I should do. More importantly, if I knew what certain career paths could earn me, then maybe things would be very different now.
by DannyUK
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That’s a good post. There’s nothing like a bit of navel-gazing to stimulate the muse, I’m minded to do something similar, though I’m twenty years farther down the line than you….or twenty years nearer the hole, as some might say.
I hope the mortgage advice career takes off……..you never know, Rodders, this time next year………………..
Twitter: SarahArrow
on April 13, 2016 at 2:06 pm
Careers are a funny thing, I’m 43 and a professional blogger. That wasn’t even a career option at school. I do know that you seem like a flexible guy and no matter what you try your hand at, you’ll do the best you can. Good luck x
Twitter: rswstbry
on April 13, 2016 at 3:06 pm
Life rarely ever turns out how you’d like it to but that isn’t always a bad thing. I very much believe that everything happens for a reason so there’s likely to be a reason for everything x
Twitter: glamglitzgloss
on April 13, 2016 at 6:11 pm
I’m 28 this year and I still have no idea what I want to do. I think a lot of pressure is put on people to work out what they want to do for the rest of their lives but circumstances and passions can change so I don’t think you can always choose when you’re young. I always felt bad because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I’ve had so many different goals across the years, I think as long as you’re happy that’s the main thing
Twitter: stressedmum01
on April 13, 2016 at 6:34 pm
I totally get what you are saying, my life is totally different to the life I thought it would be when I was young and leaving school, even up until the end of last year I was looking into starting to retrain, but that has been put on hold. I believe things happen for a reason, who knows what life would have been like if we had chosen another path x
Twitter: faded_spring
on April 13, 2016 at 8:53 pm
Well I would say go for it because the interest is already there and who knows you might enjoy it. Good luck on whatever you choose.
I think it’s definitely important to pursue what you love. It’s good to live in the moment so you don’t miss out on anything though.
Twitter: Olojay
on April 14, 2016 at 6:25 am
Life is so unpredictable sometimes. I never knew I would be doing what I am doing now at 29. Follow your heart.
Twitter: TangoRaindrop
on April 14, 2016 at 6:49 am
The thing with life is that you never know what’s around the corner. 40 is still fairly young (I’m going to keep telling myself that as I rapidly approach it too – I’ll hit the big 40 this December!). I’m nowhere where I wanted to be in life, but where I am isn’t a bad place either. Tomorrow is a new day. 🙂
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Twitter: thelondonmum
on April 14, 2016 at 7:44 am
At 31 my career path has halted. I never thought that it would personally, but then again my job as a glamour model didn’t exactly scream long term. While I have the education behind me I lack the experience in a real working environment and even before I’ve applied for a job I already assume I’m not right simply because I don’t have the past experience necessarily.
Being a mortgage advisor is a great job and cane really flexile too. Maybe you weren’t meant to be all settled at this age because there’s so much more for you to do first!
Twitter: serenityyou
on April 14, 2016 at 9:57 am
I always wish I did more at school and collage, then now I would have more options. But to be honest I am glad in a way, as I am now blogging as my job and it is the most perfect job for me. If things didn’t happen they way they did, I properly would have never start a blog at all
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This was such an interesting and heartfelt read. I thought I had it all planned out when I was 18..now I’m doing completely the opposite, I’m with an entirely different person with a child and my career has gone completely the other way. I don’t think we ever truly know what we want to do with life, to be quite honest.
I never thought I would be a full-time blogger with a book published, I studied to be a criminologist. But, I am so happy with the way that things have worked out.
Twitter: sbtcdcharli
on April 14, 2016 at 1:09 pm
I had my whole life planned out when I was younger, I knew exactly what I was doing. I then ended up having a baby, changing my career and then getting lost along the way. I feel the older I get the more I don’t know what to do with my life but I think that’s because it’s so hard to find a job in what I’m actually qualified to do and love so I just take jobs I’m capable of doing and trudge along. I really hope everything goes well for you and plans out well x
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even now, i don’t know what I’m doing with my life. i don’t know the career path i want to go down. ive been trying to figure this out over the past few years
Twitter: MelanieMse
on April 14, 2016 at 4:24 pm
Great post, I still don’t know what I want to do but might wait for the kids to get a little older before I decide.
Twitter: muki7x7
on April 14, 2016 at 4:51 pm
Aww what a great post. 🙂 I agree with you. I was so much more career driven when I was 25 and got my MD. Juggling studies and being a mum was not easy, but I was so determined so I managed to do both. I’ve yet to use that to something cause the field of politics are completely different to work in here in UK than my native Norway. At 41 I still don’t know what to do with my life, but that doesn’t scare me at all. On the other hand it gives me chances to do things in the spur of the moment and live life to the fullest with few obligations.
Twitter: xennia79
on April 14, 2016 at 9:12 pm
So many people I know are not doing what they wanted to do when they were at school. Most people fall into jobs and careers by accident.
I always wanted to have my own hotel!!! Hahahah, now I’m a SAHM…. That was definitely never on the cards.
Twitter: kellykaos
on April 15, 2016 at 2:23 pm
I don’t think enough careers advice is given in schools these days!
I think that sounds like a great job helping people make their home lives is a great thing to be doing
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Twitter: CulinaryTravels
on April 16, 2016 at 12:28 pm
I’m in my 30’s and only recently started studying to do my dream job. I have wanted to be a journalist since I was young but was dissuaded by teachers and parents & pushed into the sciences, then healthcare.
Twitter: Leannemariexo
on April 16, 2016 at 1:39 pm
I changed what I ‘wanted to be when I grew up’ so many times. I’ve just left it now. Whatever happens happens career wise. I’m pretty laid back!