Embarrass a teenager - It’s great fun!
Last week I unintentionally managed to embarrass a teenager in Costa. To be more precise, I managed to embarrass my eldest daughter, who is 13 years old.
“Here, read this.” I said, passing my phone across the table to my girlfriend and nodding slightly towards the open email that was displayed. My four kids surrounded the table with us in Costa, and as such I’d done my best to keep my voice low, not wanting them to intrude.
The email was from a PR company with some details about a new condom that Durex are bringing out soon. I had mentioned it in passing to my other half a couple of weeks before but this was the first detail I’d had through.
My girlfriend read through the email, raised her eyes approvingly, No doubt at the thought of more sex, and I secretly hoped she’d never get her eyes tested properly and thus realise that I’m punching well above my weight with her.
“Sounds interesting.” she cooed.
“What’s that?” piped up my 13-year-old, her eyes firmly fixed on the phone. This girl, who is practically deaf when it comes to asking her to stop shouting at her sisters, has seemingly superhuman hearing.
Above the background noise of dozens of people chatting, the eternal mutterings of her three loud siblings and in competition with Simply Red being belted out of a nearby speaker, she had heard our conversation.
Only a week earlier she had told us off as she had heard our bed squeaking above the noise of radio and TV, so I should have known better. Being a nosey teen, she wanted to know what the adults were being so coy about.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said dismissively. It’s a tactic that worked on odd occasions, but never one that I would pin a great deal of hope to.
“Why doesn’t it matter?”
“It just doesn’t. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to know.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Her perseverance was as impressive as it was frustrating.
“Because you’d get embarrassed,” I countered, “It’s adult stuff.”
I didn’t want to embarrass a teenager. The last line probably only made her want to know even more and she persisted.
“But I want to know!”
I realised I was fighting a losing battle here. It’s a fight I’d been on the other side of as a kid. If she really wanted to know, I’d tell her, knowing what reaction I’d get.
“Fine. It’s about condoms. We have been asked if we can try out some condoms and if I can blog about them. Ok?” I smiled as I finished the sentence, watching her face break into an embarrassed grin.
“Oh!” she exclaimed in a manner that told me she had no further questions.
“Comdons?” my seven-year-old asked, his eyes flicking between his eldest sister and myself. “What are they?”
“Not comdons,” I corrected him, “condoms.” I looked back at my thirteen-year-old who had sunk back in her seat slightly, No doubt slightly mortified at the turn the conversation had taken.
“… And if you want to know what they are and how they are used,” I said, still addressing my youngest, “ask your eldest sister and she will tell you!”
What’s the biggest way you’ve embarrassed your children recently?
Official Durex website: Durex.co.uk