Wednesday Whinge - Coffee shops

by DannyUK

Just what we need. Another alliterated blog meme. Yes, Wednesday Whinge.


I’m sure it’s already been done a thousand times, but it’s an apt title given the day and the fact that I’m whinging. Had it been yesterday it would have been Tuesday Tantrum.

Today’s whinge is a simple one. Unstable tables. Why is it that major chain coffee shops (and I’m looking squarely at you, Costa and Starbucks) can’t use tables that sit squarely on the floor?

I can’t count the amount of times that I’ve sat down, placed my coffee on the table and a butterfly has passed by fifty yards away, the force from the beating of its wings sending my table rocking and dumping 30p worth of coffee across the saucer and table (on a good day) or splattered across my shirt and down my crotch (on a normal day).

Let me tell you this: there is no way to walk anywhere with your head held high when you have a damp groin. Try it.

The problem is caused by the insistence of having tables with a wide bottom (quiet at the back there) and one supporting central leg. It encourages instability, much the same way as not calling a girl when you say you will does.

Is it a clever ploy by the coffee companies? A way of making a little more money by keeping us all a little thirstier? “You may have paid for a Grande Latte, Mr Customer, but we’ll make sure you dump an espresso’s worth everywhere as you sit down. Then you’ll be back for more. Bwahahahaaaaa…”

Perhaps it’s done so that people move on quicker? I’m happy to spend £2.65 on a coffee and sit in the same seat for two hours, but when I’m sitting there staring at a pool of cold coffee I’m more inclined to move on after half an hour. Christ knows that the coffee shop staff won’t clear the mess up while I’m sitting there.

Or maybe the companies just aren’t aware of the problem. Maybe not one customer has complained. Maybe the staff on each and every coffee shop just think that customers are extremely accident prone.

So please, Costa. Pretty please Starbucks. Take this blog entry as a complaint. A show of dissatisfaction. A small cry for help.

Fix your tables.

Allow me the pleasure of being able to drink £2.65 worth of overpriced warm, flavoured milk. Save yourself several napkins for every customer. Give me no reason to use a title as crappy as “Wednesday Whinge”. We can all be winners if you do.

Note to self: “Wednesday Winners” – now THERE’S a blog entry title to be proud of.


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