Ten days without posting. That generally means I’ve been busy (I haven’t), there’s lot of bad stuff happening that I don’t want to talk about (there’s not) or there’s lots of good things happening that I don’t want discuss (not huge amounts). It’s funny what factors cause me to write on the blog or not.

About a year or so ago I got chatting to a girl online via some dating site or another. Her name was Pam, she was 24, lived fairly locally and it turned out we had a mutual friend - someone she worked with and was best friends with, and someone I knew from Twitter (and therefore really only a cyber friend). Pam and I talked for a few hours online, with her telling me about her car and how much she loved it, a Toyota MR2, and also telling me about her life, her likes and dislikes and all the normal things you chat about when talking to someone for the first time. We added each other as friends on Facebook (something I don’t do often with people), and she looked very attractive, though carrying a little weight.

For whatever reason, we never got round to swapping numbers or meeting up, although she remains on my friends list today, despite many a pruning that has seen me delete off real life friends and colleagues.

Recently Pam found a boyfriend. All of her updates were about the guy without being overly slushy, and what she was up to. After spending last weekend clubbing, Pam shoved up a load of photos online on Monday and she seemed happier than ever - Not that it was strange to see her smiling - before updating her status that evening to say she was off out to “shake her toosh”.

Sandra, the mutual friend that we had, updated her status on Tuesday with “RIP Pam. I will miss you so much. Love you xx” I saw it when I was out and looking at Facebook on my phone. Thinking nothing more than it was a relative that had passed away, I moved on to something else and forgot about it. A couple of hours later, back at home, bored, I was flicking through recent photos and clicked on the ones that Pam had added the previous day. On her home page was message after message saying RIP.

I checked the local news websites and there was a story that a 25 year old woman from Chelmsford had crashed her Toyota MR2 while driving on a dual carriageway just down the road from where I live. She died at the scene.

It seems almost surreal now, but it shocked me at the time. Someone so young who flitted through my life so briefly, was dead. I’ve been lucky so far. I’m 32 and yet the only funerals I’ve been to are two elderly relatives and a friend’s mother who I had never met. Death hasn’t affected me. Yet this touched me. I keep thinking about her and how life can be so unfair. She had everything to live for, yet she’s now gone. And reading what he friends, her brother and her parents have written on her Facebook wall is heart breaking.

I guess that none of us know when our time is up.

RIP Pam Willis.

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