I’ve been off of work for a couple of weeks now, and although I wouldn’t say I’ve spent a lot of time thinking things through, I have obviously had more time to reflect on things and I think that I’m slowly working stuff out.
I have a general apathy with life. For some time now I’ve acknowledged that something has needed to change. I’ve flirted with looking into Buddhism, started (and as predicted by Steve, soon got bored of) learning to play the guitar, tried being more positive and saying yes more and it’s only just occurred to me.
I don’t really need to change anything. I just need to do more.
I’ve been invited to a friend’s wedding in Ireland. They aren’t a close friend, and normally I’d say it was too expensive. But I’ve decided to go. I’ll probably hate it, but what the Hell. I’m also trying to organise a trip to the Edinburgh festival, just because I fancy going. Tasha is going to see Muse in Barcelona soon and I’m thinking of going along (not to see Muse, but to go to Spain. Though if it’s just her and James I may not go. Don’t want to be a spare wheel.)
And it all feels good. It feels right. I’m not beating myself up over not being able to afford it, or worrying that I won’t enjoy it, or won’t mix with people.
I feel quite positive.
I like that feeling!