Circumcision update - “Your penis looks lovely!”
Every man likes a compliment, especially about his penis.
More on that later.
I got a text from my manager Sue today. “When are you due back?” The opportunity for an extended holiday flashed before my eyes, but as usual I took the honest route. “Wednesday. My son has a hearing test on Thursday morning, can I come in late please?”
I should have known what kind of reply I’d get, though for some reason it still annoyed me: “No problem about Thursday, but I will probably need you in on Monday as we’re running behind.” Monday, as you’ve probably guessed, I am supposed to be off. Given that after having a week off this week and being asked to work a Saturday in lieu of the one I missed, and agreeing to it, I was hoping that my “favours” would have been fully paid up. Obviously not. Can’t say I’m too impressed, but then that’s work I guess.
As an aside to that, I was put in a situation today which would normally be every man’s dream. I had a pretty young woman, with immaculately manicured nails, smelling ever so slightly of alcohol, playing with my penis.
I can’t remember the last time that kind of thing happened to me, let alone at 10am! Unfortunately it’s not as interesting as I try to make it sound, as it was a follow-up to the circumcision operation, and the alcohol was merely the alcohol solution they clean their hands with.
Apparently everything is healing up nicely. In fact, in the words of the lovely Nurse Sarah, who had already commented on the bruising and the swelling (and my God did it take every sinew of strength not to reply “that’s not swollen, it’s always like that!”) she said “Your penis looks lovely!
Going over in my mind the deformed and black member that has been living in my pants since I came round from the anaesthetic, there was only one response I could give:
“Your ‘lovely’ and my ‘lovely’ are two very different descriptions!” (my sarcasm isn’t as obvious and open when I’m in the company of a stranger. Especially one holding my cock.
Nurse Sarah, to her credit, just smiled and reiterated that everything was healing up well. She also confirmed that the stitches will dissolve in time and didn’t have to be removed, thank God.
One more check up to go, which will be in 2-3 weeks, and fingers crossed everything will be fine and I can start using the old fella properly again.
Hopefully at the next appointment I won’t start things quite as dumb-answeredly as I did this time:
“How has it been?” Nurse Sarah asked.
“It’s been sore.” I responded, honestly.
A thousand words can’t accurately describe the look I was given as a response to those three words, save to say that it clearly stated I had declared the obvious.