Day 2 of having the kids: Brexit, buoyant poo and more
The tiredness is showing already, and Day 2 of having the kids has started with typos and sarcasm. Much like any other day, to be fair, but with the added bonus of an overheard conversation about the Brexit.
As a blogger, I often receive invitations to events or the opportunity to review products. I had one such offer yesterday, via Facebook Messenger.
I was in a rush with the kids and quickly tapped out my response:
Obviously my brain isn’t in gear as I didn’t even pick up on the typos after I’d sent the message.
I managed to get the kids up, fed and out of the door without too much hassle. Middle daughter announced that she was walking to school rather than getting a lift, and I think that helped avoid any additional conflict. She also revealed that she was going to a friend’s house after school. I genuinely believe that if I can keep her and the eldest apart, tempers won’t be lost.
I got to Costa after the school run, confused by something I overheard en route.
Someone was summing up the EU debate with the phrase “Certainly there’ll be uncertainty and that’s a certainty.”
It took a couple of mental replays for me to decipher it.
In Costa, I jumped onto Facebook where a friend had asked a question about the unexpected roles you found yourself adopting as a parent, and my immediate thought was becoming an unofficial spokesperson for baby wipes which we now know have the power to clean anything.
As any parent will tell you, if baby wipes can clean dried Weetabix from a wall, it can do pretty much anything.
The same thread also caused me to recall the time Charisma - at the tender age of just a few months old - pooed whilst in the bath with her mum.
I never thought I’d find myself being grateful that crap floats, but there I was, toy bucket in hand, scooping turd from the bathwater loudly thanking Mother Nature for buoyant poo.
Keep your eyes peeled on Lizzie’s blog as I’ve no doubt there’ll be many more examples.
Another Facebook friend mentioned that Instagram was changing the way they present photos to people. By the sounds of it, they are adopting a Facebook-style approach whereby they filter photos by what Instagram deem most suitable rather than by chronological order. (A big “meh” from me on that, Instagram!)
I have prepared for this already.
I’ve cut down on my Instagram usage and have printed out a dozen or so photos of dinners, desserts, selfies and the kids onto glossy photo paper. I now walk up to people in public, thrust a picture into their face and scream “OMG! Dessert is heavenly! Diet starts tomorrow! L-O-L hashtag fat git!” and other select phrases.
The day drifted lazily along and soon enough I had to collect the kids from school. After watching them have an argument in Tesco yesterday, I had decided we’d just head straight home. Aaliyah was at her friend’s house, so the chance of it all kicking off again was lower, but I still wasn’t prepared to risk it.
A phone call from the school revealed that Charisma has been put on report for some infringement or another, which Charisma naturally disputes. My take on it is that I wasn’t there to see whatever did or didn’t occur (backchatting and poor performance, according to the teacher) and that if the school feels it is necessary, then so be it.
We stopped off on the way to pop by Bah Humbug, a small shop at the end of Moulsham Street in Chelmsford which is an independently owner sweetshop. It’s recently announced that it is closing, though speaking to the owner he is hoping to move to the local market where things should be cheaper.
It was also an excuse for me to take a photo for an upcoming blog post (or possibly an Essex Chronicle article). This is as close as I ever get to planning with this blog.
A couple of hours later we had all eaten dinner and were starting to settle down for the night. Charisma was complaining of a headache and was generally whingy as she wasn’t feeling great.
By the time I popped out to pick up Aaliyah, which was close to 8pm, Charisma had bedded down in the living room, ready to go to sleep. Ahhh, the joys of having twice as many kids as you do bedrooms.
Aaliyah came in and immediately went to the kitchen to grab some food. I made the mistake of sitting down in my bedroom and with five minutes everything had kicked off.
Charisma had shouted at Aaliyah for disturbing her, and the shouts led to a fight which culminated in Aaliyah hitting her sister with her phone. Had I not seen her do it with my own eyes (I had literally just got to the door to find out what the commotion was), I wouldn’t have believed it.
I immediately banished Aaliyah to her room, chastised Charisma for starting a fight and then left them to it.
I was absolutely gutted that it had kicked off in such a big fashion. Thankfully after a few tears (scrap that - after many, many tears) from those involved, things seemed to quieten down.
With only two days down, I’ve done more washing up and gone through more cycles on the washing machine than I have done in the past month, and it shows no signs of slowing down from there.
Add in the ironing and it’s even worse. Talking of which, Chance got given a smiley face made of Hama beans by the girl that he fancies, and he asked me to try and fix it as it was falling apart. What nobody told me was that you’re supposed to cover the beads with something so that they don’t stick to the iron.
I ended up making things worse, as you can see. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow.