Dad, this Anusol is rubbish toothpaste!
Piles. They’re a pain in the backside (b’dum tshhhh!). I promise that this was my genuine thought process when I had the misfortune to use Anusol (pile cream)
On squeezing it from the tube:
“Oh. That doesn’t look very appealing. I was expecting it to be white. Or at least a nicer colour… It doesn’t even smell of anything.”
On the realisation of what it was:
“Oh. I suppose given where’s it going it doesn’t really matter.”
Then I thought I’d best not leave it in the bathroom in case it leads to one of the kids saying “Dad, this Anusol is rubbish toothpaste!” one day.
Welcome to the inside of my head!