Birth sounds - What you can expect to hear giving birth for the first time
“So you’ve never given birth before then?” asked Ken, a permatanned man in his fifties to one of my very pregnant colleagues.
I’d only been working for the company for a couple of weeks, but Ken had been there for years. Outgoing and friendly, and undoubtedly cheeky, he was well loved by pretty much everyone and had a habit of saying the kind of things that few others would get away with. Mostly due to his cheek and charisma, but being the boss certainly didn’t do him any harm.
“No, this is my first.” replied Lisa, rubbing her hand protectively over her rather full belly. I’d been brought in to cover her work when she went on maternity leave, so she was almost 9 months gone by this stage and each time we spoke she shared her concerns about giving birth.
“Just remember Lis’,” Ken continued, picking up an A4 sheet of paper in his hands and tearing it slowly as he said the next line “This will be the sound of your fanny next month!”
I’ve never seen a girl go so white as quickly as poor Lisa did.
I never did find out if the aural prediction made by Ken was an accurate one or not for Lisa, and being the proud father of four kids all born by C-Section, I never found out the birth sounds of a natural delivery.