How to fix F1
I’ve never been much of an F1 fan. Twenty-two cars racing around a track countless times over several hours. I’ve seen more excitement on Songs of Praise. I know how to fix F1 though.
I know that not everyone feels the same way. Many point to the sheer speed of the cars, or the skilful driving that sees races decided by precision moves and split-second advantages. I’ve never understood why changes aren’t made to make the sport more appealing, and so I have decided to implement a few suggestions:
- Each race should be restricted to only 2 laps. This would result in fewer emissions, making the races better for the environment. It would also help keep costs down through a lower fuel usage. However, I appreciate that encouraging this change would make the races finish faster than a virgin on his wedding night, so I would also suggest…
- Cars in the race are restricted to a maximum of 3mph. That’s right, 3mph. It would allow for skill and precision driving, though all carried out in a much more pragmatic way. It’d be like chess on wheels.
- To make it even more interesting, and to add an extra layer of complexity, all cars should be forced to start the race in 3rd gear. As anyone who has slipped their own vehicle into the wrong gear at the traffic lights and then stubbornly tried to pull away without the ignominy of changing down to first, it’s a delicate balance to find and then hold the biting point on the clutch.
- Brakes should be removed from all vehicles. I know it’s drastic, but remember that the speed limit is restricted to a walking pace, which means that brakes aren’t as important as normal. It also allows for more options to the drivers. Should they approach the sharp corner at top speed, and risk taking the turn at a flat out 3mph? Or should they cruise into the turn to allow for a less scary manoeuvre?
- Lastly, each track should have traffic lights, to add an unpredictable twist to each race, designed to turn red at different intervals just to spice things up a little more.
I can’t promise that it will make the sport any more exciting, nor that it will prevent the sneaky tactics that have plagued F1 (I’m clutching at straws here, but I have a vague recollection of incidents) such as drivers obeying team orders to the detriment of the outcome and cars crashing into other cars seemingly accidentally though gaining an advantage in doing so.
It is, however, an alternative, and that’s all I can hope to offer in how to fix F1.