2010 - Reviewing the year in tweets

As the year draws to a close, rather than write a list of resolutions that I probably won’t stick to, which would no doubt include reformatting the pc, exercising more often and finding a new place to live (I will probably write that entry next week!) I have decided instead to do the other oft-written blog post and review the year.  This time, however, it will be via the medium of Twitter.  In other words, much copying and pasting from my Twitter feed throughout the year - the stuff that has been ReTweeted by others.

Although judging by the lack of ReTweets in January, I must have started getting interesting after the first 31 days or so…

I should also point out that generally any tweet with three arrows "<<<" is something that I have requoted from someone else and added my own comments after the arrows.  Also, anything with a hashtag (#) is a topic of discussion

Feb

4 Feb - The Pope condemns gay marriage, yet is quite happy to walk about in a dress. I think he may have some "issues"

10 Feb - If West Ham hire Warnock, I will stop going! That’ll be £35 per season you’d miss, Two Davids!! Ha! #westhamwednesday In response to West Ham rumours in the press that they were to get Neil Warnock, ex-Sheffield Utd boss, in as manager

Mar

11 Mar - Google Street View showing Chelmsford at last - woo! It doesn’t take much to make me happy sometimes.  Before this, it was London and big cities only.

Apr

13 Apr - Football analysts have renamed Zola’s 4-4-2 formation up as 4-3-Parker-2, such is the importance of Scott Parker #scottparkerfacts #westham Ahhh, West Ham’s best player, Scott Parker.  Such was his brilliance, he had a campaign started by Hammers fans to get "ScottParkerFacts" trending.

28 Apr - The Sun have released a new opinion poll showing Labour are now 4th favourites behind Tories, LibDems & Bigoted Woman Trying to think who the bigoted woman was, but I’m sure it was topical.

May

7 May - RT @simonlansley - Redknapp has been named Barclays manager of the season. #football << FFS, really? £140m spent in 2 seasons. Poor Hodgson! My response to hearing that wheeler dealer Harry Redknapp was winning the Manager Of The Year trophy.  I’m not a huge fan of his, as you may be able to tell.

20 May - M25 why does thoust mock me so! Stuck in traffic on the M25.  I’d made the mistake of taking the outside filter lane during roadworks, only for a van to break down, meaning I was stuck there for an hour with no escape, while cars travelling the same direction whizzed past me in the un-flitered and unblocked-off lane to my left.

Jun

5 Jun - Girls: Are you attractive, outgoing and single? Then join a dating site as it’s the perfect way to hide the fact you’re actually mental!

5 Jun - What every dad wants this Fathers Day: A card that implies he’s a retard. http://twitpic.com/1u48tc I saw this in my local Waterstones. Gotta love it.  I’m glad I didn’t get it from my kids though.

11 Jun - RT @alidrox aww i like mario, i want him to win the task #bb11 << No way!! He still hasn’t fixed my toilet!! Maybe his brother, Luigi, will. I’m assuming that this was referencing Mario from some reality show.

18 Jun - Why you shouldn’t watch the game with your mum, part one. Mum: "Why isn’t Jamie Redknapp playing?" #eng I should point out that Jamie Redknapp, who retired from football five years ago, and last played for England in 1999, was a pundit at Half Time in this particular England game.

Jul

1 Jul - You know you’re a bad Tweeter when someone at play.com unfollows you!

6 Jul - National Kissing Day today - Who wants a snog? 😀 Unsurprisingly, not many people responded to this!

16 Jul - Finding this FAR too funny: http://bit.ly/94sBaZ

Aug

13 Aug - 45 mins until I go home, It’s pouring down. I’ve no coat & no umbrella. Men w/ white shirts that go see through in the rain are hot, right?

19 Aug - My boss just called me on my mobile, to ask me what my mobile number was. It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it.

25 Aug - Pretty sure the "s" on my Caps Lock key is upside down… http://yfrog.com/iyhu3j

26 Aug - @WestHamProcess Pharoah Fawcett. She was lovely in Charlies Angels In response to the question "Can you name any famous pharoahs?"

Sep

3 Sep - Dear iTunes. Do you think anyone has ever read all 55 pages of your Term & Conditions before clicking "I agree"?

3 Sep - RT @Gincess: @DannyUK what is the plural of penis? <<< I think it’s JLS. This rapid response makes me laugh even now.

3 Sep - Dear First Group buses in Essex. Please could you indicate somewhere on your timetables that they are, in fact, complete works of fiction. Written after waiting 40 minutes for a bus when two that were due just didn’t turn up.

4 Sep - Paul McKenna. When you bring out a book with title "I can make you grow a full head of hair" with a pic of you with hair, THEN I may buy it.

14 Sep - #joke @Hels1305 Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says "So how do you drive this thing?" I’m not sure whether we were going for worst joke, or jokes that fitted the 140 character limit, but this was apparently worthy of a retweet.

17 Sep - I couldn’t get online, so I called my ISP. "Tried disabling cookies?" they asked. I said, "Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man." I didn’t have a problem with my ISP, but I couldn’t NOT retell this joke.

20 Sep - Just bought a new chainsaw. It’s cutting hedge technology.

20 Sep - The One Show. What’s the point? It’s blatantly the show that people have on in the background as they sort out dinner.

Oct

3 Oct - I’ve just found two condoms that need using by April 2013. I’m not confident they’ll get used before then… I’m still not confident about it 3 months later.

3 Oct - Dear iPhone. Please stop changing all my swear words into nice ones. You piece of shut. You’re a can’t. Oh go to he’ll. #sickipedia

24 Oct - RT @ChrisThomson91: Intelligence in teenagers of Chelmsford is so hard to find these day… http://twitpic.com/30g3qc <<< brilliant!

27 Oct - I hate guys sometimes. If one girl sleeps with 5 guys in a year, she’s called a slag. Yet if a guy does it, he’s considered a "Homosexual". Another joke nicked from Sickipedia, I think.  And this led to someone asking me if I was really gay.

Nov

4 Nov - In fourteen years, there’ll be this thing called Twitter. This short message will make more sense then. #tweetyour16yearoldself

9 Nov - Ahhh. It’s 9/11 today. If I was a terrorist, I’d bomb the UK today just to have confusion over dates in the news. Just saying…

9 Nov - Drogba has malaria. Cheryl Cole has malaria. I don’t want to blame anyone, but Ashley Cole is the only common link..,

15 Nov - "I’ve come to the conclusion I want to keep chickens and honey bees." <<< conversation with my best mate. Help me.

15 Nov - "Make me a cup of tea and I’ll show you my boobs." Lies. All lies. Women - Snakes with tits *shakes fist angrily* Not strictly a lie, as I got to see cleavage, but not strictly the truth either.

19 Nov - #ChildrenInNeed @simonmagill tbf, they can’t be any good at raising money or they’d have fixed Pudseys eye by now.

21 Nov - RT @gotapulse: Catholic policy on condoms was harsh and unfeeling.. #ratherlikeacondom

30 Nov - @dossdaz It’s the doubled-up prefix to Will Smiths description of the Wild Wild West. In answer to the question "what is a ‘wiki’ anyway?"

Dec

2 Dec - Why tweet exactly the same as someone you follow & try to pass it off as your own opinion #getyourowntweets #annoying This was funny as it was, obviously, a copy and paste from someone else who had said the same thing 😉

3 Dec @emzy2710 You should be busy planning lessons! My taxes shouldn’t pay you to whiten your teeth 😉 #IAmInTheWrongJob lol In response to Em, who, as a teacher, was enjoying a day off due to snow.

19 Dec - Showing the kids how the voice operated Google app works. Asked them to ask a question. 8 yr old: "Is Lady Gaga a boy or a girl?"

19 Dec - I made a snow angle with the kids. (360° angle - slipped over on my arse) 🙁 And yes, I meant angle not angel.  That was the joke.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Share this post with your friends!