I’m texting this from the gym as I wait to be seen. Standing in a room full of people working out and I can honestly say that Steve was wrong, the gym is not just for fit and good looking people. It IS mostly that sort, but with a smattering of older unfit people. I certainly don’t belong here as I am neither good looking and working on my abs, nor fighting a very late battle having retired from work.

Edited after the gym visit:

Well, I was there for 30 minutes. I had my weight taken - 100.5kg, which meant nothing to me. I said to Ed, the gym guy that went through the assessment with me, that I thought it was just under 16 st, which it turns out was spot on. 15st 11.5lbs, according to Google. That’s possibly as heavy as I have ever been, and my BMI was 27%, which I thought was bad, but the gym guy remarked “27? That’s not bad, is it!” quite chirpily, which I took as him having looked me over and thought “This porker will be 30 at least.”, cheeky sod.

After a bit of form filling I went on an exercise bike for ten minutes, starting out nice and slowly with little resistence from the machine. As the time went on, Ed kept pressing the + button which made it harder to pedal. By minute 5 I noticed my breathing was getting heavier. By minute 8 I was willing myself to get through the final two minutes. The whole time I was on the bike I could taste last nights stuffed-crust pizza repeating on me.

After the ten minutes was up, rather than just stopping Ed told me I had a minute to continue cycling and to wind down. If I’d have had the energy I’d have called him a git.

By the time I’d finished and sat down, I was knackered. Two minutes after sitting down I stood up and walked a couple of steps towards the bike again and was surprised to find that both legs felt like absolute dead weight.

Ed came back in the room and asked when I wanted to book my hour long full-introduction session, suggesting either 6.30pm or 8pm next Wednesday. Thinkly quickly, and fully aware that the gym would be absolutely packed with workers doing their after-work gym thing, I said that Wednesday was a no go, and have now booked my self in for a 7.30am start on Sunday week. A decision that I know I will live to regret.

It’s my birthday this weekend, and I have a few things planned. On Monday I am once again going to start watching what I eat. The thought of this doesn’t exactly fill me with glee!

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